AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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