If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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