You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
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it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
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I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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