The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
