Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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