If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
