i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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