Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
