OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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