I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
false alarm, still single
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
