And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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