my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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