i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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