drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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