Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize