Screwed.edu
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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