I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
