He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
nutella sex= disaster
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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