Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
