I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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