creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
