In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
