YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You pole danced in your parka.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
