it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
