OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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