I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
