She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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