The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize