I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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