hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
