Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
