It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
