What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
