it wasn't lemon gatorade
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
