I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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