Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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