Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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