Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm having to shit out rocks
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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