frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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