i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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