and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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