she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
