New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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