you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Panties = found
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