I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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