I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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