i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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