mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
