were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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