Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
