After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
