A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Every concussion has its silver lining
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
